Most Heartbreaking April Fools’ Movie News Scoops (2012)

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For movie buffs, you might as well count this day as a loss for any kind of real news.  Thankfully April Fools’ fell on a Sunday this year, so there’s not as much real news to get mixed up with any way.  The reason it’s such a pain in the ass is that sometimes the April Fool’s news pranks are really awesome, or something fans have been wanting to hear about for a while.  Or the news is so infuriating that it leaves fans angry and heartbroken.  So, like last year, TMP is here to show you all of the most heartbreaking April Fool’s movie news you will encounter on the Internet today.

Taylor Lautner Turtle

Taylor Lautner in Ninja Turtles

Michael Bay hasn’t been making any friends lately with all of his reveals about the new TMNT reboot.  So ScreenRant decided to have even more fun with the fanboys today (though let’s hope they don’t riot!).  They scooped that Michael Bay had cast Taylor Lautner (Twilight) to play the leader of the Ninja Turtles, Leonardo.  The best part of this prank is that they actually make it sound fairly believable, even with a made up Michael Bay quote that sounds exactly like something he’d say.

Spielburgers Themed Restaurant

This one is truly heartbreaking for me, because I love this idea.  If this were real, I’d be eating there every night.  This surprisingly intricate website went up today to promote a movie-themed restaurant with a dining menu that has me wishing this were a real thing.  Maybe one day…

TIE Swatter

The TIE Swatter

Even the offiical Star Wars website got in on the fun today when their product shop unveiled the TIE Swatter.  This fake product would have been awesome as the description says it makes the iconic TIE flying noise when you swat at something, plus it’s solar powered to zap bugs on contact.  I would have totally bought it.

Admiral Ackbar singing bass

Admiral Ackbar Singing Bass

While we’re on the subject of Star Wars, ThinkGeek came up with this nifty gift for the Star Wars nerd in your life: the Admiral Ackbar Singing Bass!  Remember those singing bass fish that you inevitably got during some Christmas in the past?  Remember how annoying those were?  I wouldn’t imagine this version would be much less annoying, but it’s Admiral Ackbar…how in the world could you pass that up!

Feature Films Abridged to 23 Minutes

The Amazon owned streaming movie site, LOVEFiLM, announced today that the AMPPA (Alliance of Motion Picture Producers of America) issued a new ruling today stating that films need to comply with a shorter run time.  Distributors must now supply a standard lenght and abridged version of each motion picture that’s no longer than 23 minutes.  This is to bring the younger ‘Twitter’ generation which thrives on short form media and entertainment.  Of course LOVEFiLM will be streaming these.  This is heartbreaking because the logic actually makes sense in a scary way. 

Excelsior

George Takei Announces Star Trek: Excelsior Movie

Oh George Takei…he’s been a pretty hilarious base for fanboys to rally around lately and April Fools’ day is no exception.  He took to his Facebook today to announce he’d be returning to his iconic role of Sulu for a new Star Trek film called Excelsior.  Apart from the heartbreak many Trekkies feel about not actually getting a new Star Trek film featuring an original cast member (dude got tons of ‘likes’ for this post), it’s also heartbreaking to think about a Star Trek film co-starring Gilbert Gottfried…*shudder*

Ryan Reynolds

Ryan Reynolds Takes Over Batman

WeGotThisCovered is sure to incite a lot of anger over this fake story they posted up just a little bit ago.  Everyone knows how WB wants to reboot the Batman franchise after Nolan steps down, and so they played a prank on that knowledge.  Their claim is that Warner Bros announced Ryan Reynolds would be the next Bruce Wayne/Batman in the reboot, with Duncan Jones hoping to direct.  Personally I love Ryan Reynolds, but not for Batman.  Duncan Jones would be an awesome director, and that’s what makes this April Fools’ scoop so heartbreaking.

These are all confirmed April Fools’ day pranks, so don’t get too excited if you see them around today.  Like I said, being that it’s on a Sunday, not many are even bothering to update their sites today.  However, if more funny pranks/scoops come out during the day, we’ll be updating them here in this post.  If there’s any we missed be sure to let us know in the comments below!

The gaming news world isn’t excluded from today’s festivities either, so I’ve posted a similar list for the gaming world over on PushStartSelect.

-Jordan