Release: May 4 (Wide)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Superhero
Rating: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action throughout, and a mild drug reference.
Synopsis: Facing a great threat from an army led by the God of Mischief, a super powered group must band together to save the planet.
In Ten Words: All those badasses you like are killing together this time.
Logline: Some assembly required.
Cast: Robert Downey Jr, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, and Samuel L. Jackson
Written By: Joss Whedon
Directed By: Joss Whedon
Antico-Meter: Through the Roof
Reasoning: This film has been teased for five years now…it’s about time we get the payoff we’ve all been waiting for.
Expect: A ton of action, Robert Downey Jr. quips, and many Joss Whedon guffaws.
Release: May 11 (Wide)
Genre: Dark Comedy
Rating: Rated PG-13 for comic horror violence, sexual content, some drug use, language and smoking.
Synopsis: Ancient vampire Barnabas Collins is released from his tomb and unleashed upon the world of the 1970’s, where he must assist his descendants in their various dysfunctions.
In Ten Words: Johnny Depp’s playing a wacky vampire this time.
Logline: The legend bites back.
Cast: Johnny Depp, Eva Green, Chloe Grace Moretz, Helena Bonham Carter, and Michelle Pfeiffer
Written By: Seth Grahame-Smith (Based on the TV Series by Dan Curtis)
Director: Tim Burton
Reasoning: It’s been a while since Tim Burton’s done a movie like this, and I’m curious to see if he still has it in him to deliver the goods after a string of failures.
Expect: Tim Burton’s Signature Gothicosity
God Bless America
Release: May 11 (Limited)
Rating: Rated R for strong violence and language including some sexual sequences
Synopsis: A terminally ill man takes to the road with a sixteen year old girl to rid America of its greatest evils.
In Ten Words: Watch as Bobcat Goldthwait complains about things he doesn’t like.
Logline: Taking out the trash, one jerk at a time.
Cast: Joel Murray, Tara Lynne Barr, Mackenzie Brooke Smith, Melinda Page Hamilton, and Rich McDonald
Written By: Bobcat Goldthwait
Directed By: Bobcat Goldthwait
Reasoning: Well I like Bobcat Goldthwait, this movie just seems like an excuse for him to vent his anger out, and not in a very subtle way.
Expect: A crapload of rants.
Release: May 16 (Wide)
Rating: Rated R for strong crude and sexual content, brief male nudity, language and some violent images
Synopsis: A malicious dictator travels to New York and finds himself stripped of his identity. Poor and homeless, this once powerful leader finds himself struggling to get used to American life.
In Ten Words: It’s like Coming to America, but with more ruthless oppression.
Cast: Sacha Baron Cohen, Anna Faris, Ben Kingsley, John C. Reilly, and B.J Novak
Written By: Sacha Baron Cohen, Alec Berg, David Mandel, and Jeff Schaffer
Directed By: Larry Charles
Antico-Meter: Cautiously Optimistic
Reasoning: I’m generally a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen, but I hope that he finds himself able to avoid becoming a one man joke with his many “Characters with funny accents” movies.
Expect: Like I said above…a character with a funny accent.
Release: May 18
Rating: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence, action and destruction, and for language
Synopsis: Aliens are going to destroy like, everything. Outdated and relatively useless pieces of technology engage it in combat. Liam Neeson looks on stoically.
In Ten Words: Big ships go “Boom, Boom.”
Logline: The Battle for Earth Begins at Sea.
Cast: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna (Really), Brooklyn Decker, and Liam Neeson
Written By: Erich and Jon Hoeber
Directed By: Peter Berg
Reasoning: You know what? Once every year, we I need a movie like Battleship—stupid, ridiculous, and a hell of a lot of fun. Hopefully, it will fit this mold nicely.
Expect: Umm…big ships going boom, boom?
What To Expect When You’re
Release: May 18
Rating: Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content, thematic elements and language
Synopsis: Fathers and mothers alike band together to deal with the massive weight that child birth has on their lives.
In Ten Words: Babies ruin everything, don’t they?
Logline: It’s Too Late to Pull Out Now
Cast: Cameron Diaz, Chris Rock, Jennifer Lopez, Dennis Quaid, and Elizabeth Banks
Written By: Shauna Cross and Heather Hach
Directed By: Kirk Jones
Antico-Meter: Eternally Not Caring.
Reasoning: It’s based on a self-help book…enough said.
Expect: Various jokes about child endangerment, and the inevitable “Boy Peeing During a Diaper Change” scene.
Release: May 18
Genre: Victorian Era Sex Comedy (For Real)
Rating: Rated R for sexual content.
Synopsis: A brilliant doctor invents a device used to help women go through various forms of stress in Victorian Era London.
In Ten Words: LOL, really, it’s about the invention of the vibrator.
Logline: He created an invention that turned on half of the world.
Cast: Hugh Dancy, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jonathan Pryce, Felicity Jones, and Rupert Everett
Written By: Stephen and Jonah Lisa Dyer
Directed By: Tanya Wexler
Antico-Meter: Oddly Curious
Reasoning: A Victorian era sex comedy intrigues me to no end. If anything, it will make for an interesting matinee.
Expect: Moaning, Shrieking, and Lots and Lots of Tea Drinking
Release: May 2
Rating: Rated R for violence, some bloody images and pervasive language
Synopsis: Six tourists hire an “extreme” tour guide to lead them through the nuclear Russian ghost town of Pripyat—yeah, nothing can go wrong there.
In Ten Words: Stupid kids do stupid things for stupid reasons.
Logline: Experience the Fallout
Cast: Jesse McCartney, Ingrid Bolso Berdal, Olivia Dudley, Nathan Phillips, and Jonathan Sadowski
Written By: Oren Peli, Carey and Shane Van Dyke
Directed By: Bradley Parker
Antico-Meter: Eternally Not Caring
Reasoning: First off, I never even heard of this movie before yesterday. Second, it stars Paul McCartney. Third, the trailer was lame. Forth, who really cares anyways?
Expect: Erratic decisions and crazy Russian ghosts accents.
Men in Black III
Release: May 25
Genre: Sci-Fi Adventure
Rating: Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence, and brief suggestive content
Synopsis: Agent J and Agent K are back after a ten year hiatus, and this time around, they’ll be investigating a different kind of alien world: the one of the late 1960’s!
In Ten Words: Yup, they’re time traveling now; deal with it.
Logline: Back in Time.
Cast: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Alice Eve, and Jemaine Clement
Written By: David Koepp, Jeff Nathanson, Etan Cohen and Michael Soccio (Based on the Comic Book By Lowell Cummingham)
Directed By: Barry Sonnenfield
Antico-Meter: Anticipating Disaster
Reasoning: Well I’ve enjoyed the previous MIB films, this one seems to be a franchise retread that seems to be doing little to reinvigorate the decade old series. Add a reportedly disastirous shoot and a crapload of writers tinkering with the script MIDWAY THROUGH production, and I don’t forsee success for MIB 3.
Expect: Will Smith will probably say “Hell Naw”…probably.
Release: May 25 (Limited)
Rating: Rated PG-13 for sexual content and smoking.
Synopsis: A pair of young, New England lovers flee their rural home to elope together, causing the whole town to go search for them.
In Ten Words: Wes Anderson characters go after children, do some bumblin’.
Cast: Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Tilda Swinton, Harvey Ketiel, and Bill Murray
Written By: Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola
Directed By: Wes Anderson
Antico-Meter: Eagerly Excited
Reasoning: I really like Wes Anderson, and this plot seems to be really up his alley. Add an outstanding cast and you have an almost guaranteed recipe for success.
Expect: Oddity, Good Dialogue, and Bill Murray/Jason Schwartzman
And that does it for May! Check back tommorow (4/31) for Part 2 of the guide, where we delve into the jam packed month of June. See ya then!