00 turkey spider Cap

The 3 Mighty Men (AKA 3 Dev Adam): Better known as Turkish Spider-Man, this strange, low-budget 1973 super hero flick has Captain America teaming up with popular masked Mexican wrestler El Santo, to fight the evil villain—Spider-Man?  Yes, Spider-Man is the villain in this one.  With the help of a slim Kingpin and some female henchwomen, Spidey stabs, strangles and even uses carnivorous gerbils to slay his victims. I’m not sure why Captain America is operating in Turkey, or why he doesn’t have a shield, or why he’s teaming with a Mexican wrestler, or why Spider-Man is criminal now, and what the hell what up with those puppets? (Don’t ask!) None of this is explained. After seeing this, you won’t even care enough to ask.

00 turk Batman

Yarasa Adam (AKA Bedmen, AKA Betmen): Better known as Turkish Batman, this is a cheap 1973 action film trying to recapture the success of the Adam West TV series from the 60s, but with a much more adult approach. This Batman blasts the bad guys with bullets, without any reservation. When he and Robin are not in costume killing the villains, they are picking up girls or hanging out in strip clubs. (You’ll see why this film is also called “Bedmen”). As the non-dynamic duo battle Turkish Egghead, the film steals music from both James Bond films and from the Saint TV show. (They must be Roger Moore fans.) As bad as this film is, it may still be better than Batman & Robin.

0 jap spidey

Spider-Man (AKA Supaidaman): Best known as Japanese Spider-Man, this was made a year after the short-lived, live-action American series The Amazing Spider-Man with Nicholas Hammond.  The Japan version took a lot of liberties with the Spider-Man origins, making his more like Green Lantern than Spider-Man. Spidey is a motor cyclist who sees a space craft crash. He meets the pilot Galea, from the planet Spider, who gives him a bracelet which allows him to transform into the Spider-Man. His mission is to defend Earth against the evil Professor Monster. Yes, that’s really the villain’s name. To help in this mission, Spidey has the use of the space ship, called the Marveller (Of course is it!) Whenever one of the professor’s monsters mutates to giant size, the Marveller can transform into a giant robot. (This was the inspiration for the Power Rangers.) Spider-Man mostly uses martial arts to fight his foes, but he also has the standard spider powers, even though his webs are just regular ropes (He has to yell “spider-strings” to utilize them.) This ran for 40 episodes, which is 39 episodes too long.

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The Thing animated series (AKA Fred & Barney Meet the Thing): Ben Grimm leaves the Fantastic Four behind to join the Flintstones in his short-lived Saturday morning cartoon, which ran for three months in 1979. Fred & Barney Meet the Thing was not a crossover, as the title suggests. The Thing’s solo cartoon was sandwiched between a pair of Flintstones cartoons, although he shared the opening credit sequence with Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. In this cartoon, Ben Grimm was a pilot who got turned into a rock-man during a space flight. His attempt to turn himself back into a human caused him to become a teenager, known as ‘Benjy Grimm’. Benjy has two rings known as his Thing Rings, and when he touches them together, yelling “Thing Rings, do your thing!”, he transforms back into his rocky adult self. Strangely, the voice actors are different, and young Benjy loses the gruff New York accent that adult Thing has. The Thing never does anything particularly impressive, wasting his strength dealing with everyday problems, like school bullies and other typical teen troubles. The Fantastic Four are never mentioned, and that’s probably for the best. Their reputation has suffered enough with the movie versions.    

00 turkey superman

The Return of Superman (AKA ‘Superman Donuyor ) Better known as “Turkish Superman”, this mini-budgeted 1979 rip-off was made a year after the very successful Christopher Reeve version began the cinematic super hero genre. It not only blantantly steals the famous John Williams Superman theme, it also steals music from James Bond. This version of Superman specializes in non-super feats. For instance, when a truck is rolling down a hill out of control, what does our “powerful” hero do? He jumps into the front seat and applies the brakes. It’s that kind of not-so-super heroics that make this cheap knock-off so hilariously stupid. Our skinny Superman’s other feats include super-typing and using his X-Ray vision to peep through women’s clothing like a super-pervert. Bizarrely, we’re told that his powers are derived from Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles and Mercury—so they not only ripped-off Superman, they stole from Shazam as well! Despite his powers, he does get knocked out by a wooden chair.  This movie will put you to sleep, too.