Well the event has been put off for a long time now (since 1984, in fact), the day has finally arrived. According to recent Terminator lore, Skynet was finally activated last night at approximately 8:11 p.m. So you know what that means; today’s Judgment Day!
Judgment Day is a day to spend time with your family and friends as you approach the coming of a nuclear holocaust. Have a picnic lunch, or a nice campfire cookout. One thing’s for sure; do NOT use the microwave. Well it hasn’t happened yet, it’s only a matter of time before all your devices start to turn on you. Your computer will switch from Windows 7 to Windows Vista. Your iPhone will autocorrect…your mind! And, worst of all, your VCR will stop flashing 12:00! Why do you have that VCR in the first place? You were just ASKING for trouble.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t have a fun and productive last day on Earth. Just make sure of five things.
1. Do NOT go near naked Austrians with shotguns. Chances are, they are a Terminator.
2. Avoid 13 year old children with 90’s tude. They are probably young John Connor, and have liquid terminators chasing them.
3. Find Christain Bale. He’ll either be dressed as Batman, or is the adult John Connor who holds the key to defeating the Terminator menace. But he’ll probably just be Batman.
4. Find James Cameron. Ask him WTF was with The Abyss. Then you can leave.
5. Avoid public playgrounds. Those kids can’t be trusted.
If you follow these safe and productive rules, you will make all of humanities Judgement Day a little better. Thank you, and have a good day! Tommorow you’ll be fighting a futuristic war with a robotic menace, so don’t get to hungover!