TMP’s Summer 2012 Movie Guide: May

 Don’t Forget to check out our JUNE and JULY guides as well!

TheAvengersPosterThe Avengers

Release: May 4 (Wide)

Genre: Action/Adventure, Superhero

Rating: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action throughout, and a mild drug reference.

Synopsis: Facing a great threat from an army led by the God of Mischief, a super powered group must band together to save the planet.

In Ten Words: All those badasses you like are killing together this time.

Logline: Some assembly required.

Cast: Robert Downey Jr, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, and Samuel L. Jackson

Written By: Joss Whedon

Directed By: Joss Whedon


Antico-Meter: Through the Roof

Reasoning: This film has been teased for five years now…it’s about time we get the payoff we’ve all been waiting for.

Expect: A ton of action, Robert Downey Jr. quips, and many Joss Whedon guffaws.


Dark ShadowsDarkShadowsPoster

Release: May 11 (Wide)

Genre: Dark Comedy

Rating: Rated PG-13 for comic horror violence, sexual content, some drug use, language and smoking.

Synopsis: Ancient vampire Barnabas Collins is released from his tomb and unleashed upon the world of the 1970’s, where he must assist his descendants in their various dysfunctions.

In Ten Words: Johnny Depp’s playing a wacky vampire this time.

Logline: The legend bites back.

Cast: Johnny Depp, Eva Green, Chloe Grace Moretz, Helena Bonham Carter, and Michelle Pfeiffer

Written By: Seth Grahame-Smith (Based on the TV Series by Dan Curtis)

Director: Tim Burton


Antico-Meter: Intrigued.

Reasoning: It’s been a while since Tim Burton’s done a movie like this, and I’m curious to see if he still has it in him to deliver the goods after a string of failures.

Expect: Tim Burton’s Signature Gothicosity


God Bless AmericaGodBlessAmerica Poster

Release: May 11 (Limited)

Genre: Comedy

Rating: Rated R for strong violence and language including some sexual sequences

Synopsis: A terminally ill man takes to the road with a sixteen year old girl to rid America of its greatest evils.

In Ten Words: Watch as Bobcat Goldthwait complains about things he doesn’t like.

Logline: Taking out the trash, one jerk at a time.

Cast: Joel Murray, Tara Lynne Barr, Mackenzie Brooke Smith, Melinda Page Hamilton, and Rich McDonald

Written By: Bobcat Goldthwait

Directed By: Bobcat Goldthwait


Antico-Meter: Annoyed

Reasoning: Well I like Bobcat Goldthwait, this movie just seems like an excuse for him to vent his anger out, and not in a very subtle way.

Expect: A crapload of rants.


The DictatorTheDictatorPoster

Release: May 16 (Wide)

Genre: Comedy

Rating: Rated R for strong crude and sexual content, brief male nudity, language and some violent images

Synopsis: A malicious dictator travels to New York and finds himself stripped of his identity. Poor and homeless, this once powerful leader finds himself struggling to get used to American life.

In Ten Words: It’s like Coming to America, but with more ruthless oppression.

Logline: N/A

Cast: Sacha Baron Cohen, Anna Faris, Ben Kingsley, John C. Reilly, and B.J Novak

Written By: Sacha Baron Cohen, Alec Berg, David Mandel, and Jeff Schaffer

Directed By: Larry Charles


Antico-Meter: Cautiously Optimistic

Reasoning: I’m generally a fan of Sacha Baron Cohen, but I hope that he finds himself able to avoid becoming a one man joke with his many “Characters with funny accents” movies.

Expect: Like I said above…a character with a funny accent.



Release: May 18

Genre: Action/Adventure

Rating: Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence, action and destruction, and for language

Synopsis: Aliens are going to destroy like, everything. Outdated and relatively useless pieces of technology engage it in combat. Liam Neeson looks on stoically.

In Ten Words: Big ships go “Boom, Boom.”

Logline: The Battle for Earth Begins at Sea.

Cast: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna (Really), Brooklyn Decker, and Liam Neeson

Written By: Erich and Jon Hoeber

Directed By: Peter Berg


Antico-Meter: Stoked

Reasoning: You know what? Once every year, we I need a movie like Battleship—stupid, ridiculous, and a hell of a lot of fun. Hopefully, it will fit this mold nicely.

Expect: Umm…big ships going boom, boom?


What To Expect When You’re

WhatToExpectWhenYourExpecting Poster Expecting

Release: May 18

Genre: Comedy

Rating: Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content, thematic elements and language

Synopsis: Fathers and mothers alike band together to deal with the massive weight that child birth has on their lives.

In Ten Words: Babies ruin everything, don’t they?

Logline: It’s Too Late to Pull Out Now

Cast: Cameron Diaz, Chris Rock, Jennifer Lopez, Dennis Quaid, and Elizabeth Banks

Written By: Shauna Cross and Heather Hach

Directed By: Kirk Jones


Antico-Meter: Eternally Not Caring.

Reasoning: It’s based on a self-help book…enough said.

Expect: Various jokes about child endangerment, and the inevitable “Boy Peeing During a Diaper Change” scene.



Release: May 18

Genre: Victorian Era Sex Comedy (For Real)

Rating: Rated R for sexual content.

Synopsis: A brilliant doctor invents a device used to help women go through various forms of stress in Victorian Era London.

In Ten Words: LOL, really, it’s about the invention of the vibrator.

Logline: He created an invention that turned on half of the world.

Cast: Hugh Dancy, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jonathan Pryce, Felicity Jones, and Rupert Everett

Written By: Stephen and Jonah Lisa Dyer

Directed By: Tanya Wexler


Antico-Meter: Oddly Curious

Reasoning: A Victorian era sex comedy intrigues me to no end. If anything, it will make for an interesting matinee.

Expect: Moaning, Shrieking, and Lots and Lots of Tea Drinking


Chernobyl DiariesChernobylDiariesPoster

Release: May 2

Genre: Horror

Rating: Rated R for violence, some bloody images and pervasive language

Synopsis: Six tourists hire an “extreme” tour guide to lead them through the nuclear Russian ghost town of Pripyat—yeah, nothing can go wrong there.

In Ten Words: Stupid kids do stupid things for stupid reasons.

Logline: Experience the Fallout

Cast: Jesse McCartney, Ingrid Bolso Berdal, Olivia Dudley, Nathan Phillips, and Jonathan Sadowski

Written By: Oren Peli, Carey and Shane Van Dyke

Directed By: Bradley Parker


Antico-Meter: Eternally Not Caring

Reasoning: First off, I never even heard of this movie before yesterday. Second, it stars Paul McCartney. Third, the trailer was lame. Forth, who really cares anyways?

Expect: Erratic decisions and crazy Russian ghosts accents.


Men in Black IIIMenInBlack3 Poster

Release: May 25

Genre: Sci-Fi Adventure

Rating: Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence, and brief suggestive content

Synopsis: Agent J and Agent K are back after a ten year hiatus, and this time around, they’ll be investigating a different kind of alien world: the one of the late 1960’s!

In Ten Words: Yup, they’re time traveling now; deal with it.

Logline: Back in Time.

Cast: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Alice Eve, and Jemaine Clement

Written By: David Koepp, Jeff Nathanson, Etan Cohen and Michael Soccio (Based on the Comic Book By Lowell Cummingham)

Directed By: Barry Sonnenfield


Antico-Meter: Anticipating Disaster

Reasoning: Well I’ve enjoyed the previous MIB films, this one seems to be a franchise retread that seems to be doing little to reinvigorate the decade old series. Add a reportedly disastirous shoot and a crapload of writers tinkering with the script MIDWAY THROUGH production, and I don’t forsee success for MIB 3.  

Expect: Will Smith will probably say “Hell Naw”…probably.


moonrise kingdomMoonriseKingdom

Release: May 25 (Limited)

Genre: Comedy

Rating: Rated PG-13 for sexual content and smoking.

Synopsis: A pair of young, New England lovers flee their rural home to elope together, causing the whole town to go search for them.

In Ten Words: Wes Anderson characters go after children, do some bumblin’.

Logline: N/A

Cast: Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Tilda Swinton, Harvey Ketiel, and Bill Murray

Written By: Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola

Directed By: Wes Anderson


Antico-Meter: Eagerly Excited

Reasoning: I really like Wes Anderson, and this plot seems to be really up his alley.  Add an outstanding cast and you have an almost guaranteed recipe for success.

Expect: Oddity, Good Dialogue, and Bill Murray/Jason Schwartzman

And that does it for May!  Check back tommorow (4/31) for Part 2 of the guide, where we delve into the jam packed month of June.  See ya then!


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