The Film Virtuosos at the MTV Movie Awards Crown the Highest That Cinema Has to Offer

Okay guys, the idiots who actually voted for this dreck are gone now (there 2 minute attention spam has ran out).  You can come back out now.

Inception

Best Movie

Nominees:
Black Swan
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I
Inception
The Social Network
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Winner:
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Isn’t it nice to see the underdog indy film win an award once in a while?  It really makes you believe that one day, your dreams may come true.


Zack Galifanakis

Best Comedic Performance:

Nominees:
Russell Brand, Get Him to the Greek
Zack Galifanakis, Due Date
Ashton Kutcher, No Strings Attached
Adam Sander, Just Go with It
Emma Stone, Easy A

Winner: Emma Stone, Easy A

Well this wasn’t such a bad choice.  I mean, especially comparing the other nominees.  Yeah, could buy this.  Maybe the MTV Awards respects quality after all.

Natalie Portman

Best Female Performance:

Nominees: Jennifer Aniston, Just Go With It
Natalie Portman, Black Swan
Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Emma Stone, Easy A
Emma Watson, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One

Winner: Kristen Stewart, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Err…forget that last thing I said.

Taylor Lautner

Best Male Performance:

Nominees:
Zac Efron, Charlie St. Cloud
Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network
Taylor Lautner, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One

Winner: Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

That’s cute, the two romantic leads of Twilight won best actor awards!  I wonder who could possibly win…

Eww...Kissing!

Best Kiss:

Nominees:
Natalie Portman & Milan Kunis, Black Swan
Ellen Page & Joseph Gordon Levitt, Inception
Kristin Stewart & Taylor Lautner, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Emma Watson & Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I

Winners: Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Ha, nailed it.  Shame the 20 something crowd doesn’t appreciate a good lesbian kiss.

Buried

Best Scared as S**t Performance:

Nominees: Ashley Bell, The Last Exorcism
Ellen Page, Inception
Minka Kelly, The Roommate
Ryan Reynolds, Buried
Jessica Szohr, Piranha 3D

Winner: Ellen Page, Inception

Ellen Page was scared as s**t in Inception?  She was flabbergasted, sure, but scared as s**t?  I don’t think so.

Best Line

Best Line from a Movie:

Nominees:
“There’s a higher power that will judge you for your indecency.”
“Tom Cruise?”-Amanda Bynes and Emma Stone, Easy A

“If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you’d have invented Facebook.”-Jesse Eisenberg, The Social Network

“…A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool?”
“You?”
“A billion dollars. And that shut everybody up.”-Justin Timberlake and Andrew Garfield, The Social Network

“I want to get chocolate wasted!”-Alexys Nycole Sanchez, Grown Ups

“You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger darling.”-Tom Hardy, Inception

Winner: “I want to get chocolate wasted!”-Alexys Nycole Sanchez, Grown Ups

What does “chocolate wasted” even mean!

Reese Witherspoon

MTV Generation Award Winner:

Reese Witherspoon

It’s an honor…I think.

Inception Hallway

Best Fight:

Nominees: Robert Pattinson vs. Bryce Dallas Howard and Xavier Samuel, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Amy Adams vs. The Sisters, The Fighter
Chloë Grace Moretz vs. Mark Strong, Kick-Ass
Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint vs. Death Eaters (Rod Hunt and Arden Bajraktaraj), Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Joseph Gordon-Levitt vs. Hallway Attacker, Inception

Winner: Robert Pattinson vs. Bryce Dallas Howard and Xavier Samuel, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Who would of thunk it?

Kick Ass

Best Breakout Star:

Nominees: Chloe Grace Moretz, Kick-Ass
Andrew Garfield, The Social Network
Jay Chou, The Green Hornet
Xavier Samuel, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Olivia Wilde, Tron: Legacy
Hailee Steinfeld, True Grit

Winner:
Chloe Grace Moretz, Kick-Ass

What, Twilight DIDN’T win something?  Blessed be the day.

Robert Downey Jr.

Biggest Badass Star:

Nominees: Jaden Smith
Chloe Grace-Moretz
Alex Pettyfer
Robert Downey Jr.
Joseph Gordon Levitt

Winner: Chloe Grace-Moretz

Wow, way to go Chloe.  If only this meant something.

Lotso Villain

Best Villain:

Nominees:
Tom Felton, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Christoph Waltz, The Green Hornet
Mickey Rourke, Iron Man 2
Ned Beatty, Toy Story 3

Winner:
Tom Felton, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Finally another hit teen franchise other than Twilight gets an award.

Stuck under Rock

Most Jaw Dropping Moment:

Nominees:
James Franco, “127 Hours,” Cuts Off His Arm
Justin Bieber, “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never,” Performance Spectacular
Leonardo DiCaprio and Ellen Page, “Inception,” Paris Café Scene
Natalie Portman, “Black Swan,” Mutilation: Pulls the Skin off Her Finger
Steve-O, “Jackass 3D,” Port-A-Potty Bungee Stunt

Winner: Justin Bieber, “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never,” Performance Spectacular

WTF is jaw dropping about Justin Bieber?  That he exists?

The Bieb

Alright, yeah, this award show is a joke.  Just like MTV itself…