Vegetarians will HATE ‘Red Dawn’

I really do pity producers.  Whenever the stuido or director changes something so dramtically that fans begin to complain, it’s almost always the producers job to retcon the situation.  It’s a hard job, and not everyone has a long enough silver tongue to withstand sounding like a moron. Cue Tripp Vinson, producer of Red Dawn and ULTIMATE AMERICAN.  While cleaning up the Chinese to North Korean villain debate this week, Vinson delivered one of the most hilarious, insane, and all over the place interview I’ve ever seen.

Red Dawn

Here’s the complete manuscript from AICN:

This movie has been rebooted because the filmmakers all love the original movie. The experience of seeing Red Dawn as a young boy in the middle of a Cold War, was life changing for me and a generation. I assure you that everyone involved with the reboot is keenly aware of the responsibility of delivering a movie that can stand eye to eye with the original.

The changes made to Red Dawn in the last few weeks were made in consultation with military think tanks and people that specialize in game theory. Really smart people that spend their days constructing doomsday scenarios for our military and government. The type of people that know the limitations of the North Korean military. The type of people that can project a series of events that could lead to some very scary things happening to our Country. I can assure you, we listened well to those people, especially with regards to the capability of the North Korean military.

Red Dawn isn’t for everyone. So, if you are interested in seeing a movie filled with preachy political discussions – Red Dawn ain’t for you. If you love movies in which Americans are the bad guys – Red Dawn ain’t for you. If you get emotional watching daytime television – Red Dawn ain’t for you. If you’re a vegetarian – Red Dawn probably ain’t for you.

But! If you like meat with your potatoes, muscle cars that roar, tanks, guns and things blowing the fuck up by American’s kicking some Commie ass – then we have something special coming your way.

WOLVERINES!

New Cast

Okay, everything was going good until the last couple paragraphs, when Tripp decided to celebrate College Spring Break a little early.  Seriously…did he even know what he was saying towards the end of that ordeal? Why won’t vegetarians like Red Dawn?  Do the Koreans systematically slaughter all non meat eaters throughout the film or something?  And what “inside men” does he know that insist they should change the entire film?  WTF ARE YOU SAYING, TRIPP VINSON?

While this interview is a mess, I still really want to see this film.  BECAUSE I LIKE MEAT.

WOLVERINES!